One word. One moment.
One word. One moment. One change.
One pain forced deep inside. An inability for expulsion.
Emotion left suffocating, pushing down on my chest and turning down the corners of my mouth.
I`m sad, I know I am sad. Yet I do not know what to do with the sadness.
I can`t cry. I can`t shout. I can`t scream.
Cant`t take a deep breath in. Can`t smile joyfully. Can`t talk about what is making me feel this way.
But I can eat. At first, I am not hungry. Something makes me just want to take a bite, and then that bite breaks the seal. I am soothed, pain numbed and I disappear within the calories.
A further bite, craving sugary goods that take me back to the naivety of my youth, times when my parents could fill any void, fix anything broken and heal any pain. Sadness was momentary then.
I push and push the items down my throat. Time moves quicker and quicker until I have lost the seconds and even the minutes. I am lost.
I am once again suffocated, restricted now by the engorged abdomen and block in my belly. A mass of materialised emotion.
And now I am able to expel it.
A powered vomit, forced out of my system. An explosion. A release.
The pain is dampened as my body is rotted.
By Jenna Burton